Saturday, December 15, 2007

Proof That Santa Exists

There has been a disturbing trend recently to dismiss as "Imaginary" the individual known to us in North America as "Santa Claus." Some children have of course been disturbed by this incorrect and scientifically invalid position.

For those of you who have children that simply want the hard facts, here they are:

1) Santa has been granted a special privilege of eternal life.

2) He lives at the North Pole in a secret complex shielded from any type of radar or satelite imaging. The various Nations of the world know this but have determined after thirty -seven different Top Secret closed-door UN meetings that he poses no threat. (Check the records on this)

3) He possesses technology that enables him to slow/stop time.(This is why it has been virtually impossible to photograph him or capture him on video.

4) He does in fact keep detailed behavior records(ie: The List) but word has it that he is notoriously lax in this regard and has never left coal. (The 1930's Kentucky incident has been proven to be false.)

5) He is in fact helped in his work by a virtual army of what we call "Elves."(Who are actually smaller statured denzens from a planet (They pronounce it "Xylpho") in the next solar-system-considered by over Two hundred and six advanced civilizations to be the most brilliant Toy and Amusement designers and builders in the universe. (Unfortunately this information will not become public knowledge until the year 2346.)

Here are some other links that prove his existence:

Live Science

Five Ways to Prove Santa

Does Santa Exist?

Yes Virginia...

I hope this settles this question once and for all.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Paul Parducci

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